November 26, 2010 and so it begins....

I went to the meeting in September to listen politely to the plans about going to Sierra Leone knowing full well that with 2 kids in college the chances of me going to Africa were slim to none.  Stephanie Benn was more than welcoming... she clearly has ownership in this event, and her enthusiasm was charming, if not contagious.  When she quizzed me on my interest level I explained the obvious: lack of funds.  However, I mentioned that if I were to go I had considered selling ‘subscriptions’ to my journal.  This means I would be working for anyone interested in following the trip: I get help getting there, they get help being glad they’re here!  At 100 dollars per subscription, I joked, I would only need to find 30 people to employ me.  “I’ll be your first customer” she immediately interrupted.  I laughed, quickly pondered if I knew 29 more easy marks...I mean generous people, said thanks, and left. 

The following day I was walking down the mall in Lansing after an appointment with a specialist who works on the shoulder I wrenched last year when my cell phone chimed..  I was thanked for being at the Africa meeting (‘no problem’) and comforted for having two kids in college (‘yes, but I’m glad that’s where they are...’) and then offered help to pay for my plane ticket (excuse me??)  The biggest cost of the excursion is airfare.  The biggest reason for me not to go is the cost of the airfare. 
Somewhere in the cosmos I heard a door slam shut.

Behind that door danced my excuses for staying in Alma in my chaotic, but familiar world. The house is never clean enough, the errands are never finished, the dog has never learned to feed and water herself....  I am helpful if not necessary here in my little space in mid-Michigan.   I thought of the pictures of the hot...not just hot, but drenched in sweat, workers from the last trip and imagined myself negotiating between hot flashes of my own and heat waves of the African climate.  I had SAID I would like to go on this trip, but there are a million reasons why I might be a little relieved if I didn’t get to: no vaccinations that might have creepy side effects, no figuring out the finances, no 14 hour butt cracking plane ride (oh, wait... .), no having my heart broken by lives with less stuff and more joy than I usually manage on a day to day basis.  In short, no risk.     But there seems to be some purpose for me to go and discover.  It won’t involve surgical tools, but maybe a pen and paper to take slices of each day and share them with others.  Maybe I’ll clean up after the skilled medical team, or help dispense medicines.  Maybe I’ll miraculously speak the language and be able to offer comfort to those in need of it....  I’ll aim for that lofty ideal: the transcendence of the language barrier.  I’ll communicate to you, my beloved family and friends and to them, my soon to be loved African family and friends as best I can and trust God to transcend whatever barriers need to be overcome.